Two Things....

Just a side note on my last entry...

1) People do not know what "sadistic" means most of the time; so, here is the definition. I do not know why people think it has something to do with Satin, devil worship, or something crazy.

sa·dism
1 : a sexual perversion in which gratification is obtained by the infliction of physical or mental pain on others (as on a love object) -- compare MASOCHISM2 a : delight in cruelty b : excessive cruelty

Granted, the excessive cruelty is what most people will think when they hear the term Sadist but I just wanted to clarify.

2) I completely forgot to wish my sister a "Happy 21st Birthday". Of course, we all went out and I did my fair share. She had a great night.

Just wanted to post a picture from the night and give her some props for growing to be everything that I know she can. She is smart, beautiful, and can achieve anything.



Top-Left to Right...Ola, Celia, Kristin, Myself, and Erin.

LOL @ Signs

Someone asked me what my sign was...

..and I have never worried about Astrological signs before but I wanted to loosen up the blog and keep it interesting.

I know I am a Scorpio: What does being a Scorpio mean and how closely does it fit my personality? Are these commonalities that one can take how they wish? Can Astrological signs actually depict a persons personality or tendencies?

Believe it or not: This is the commonly used Scorpio symbol.



Looks like the "M" at the beginning of my signature. OK, this is already getting weird.

Taken from Wikipedia, lets see how my personality matches up.

Scorpio (The Scorpion) (fixed, water, social): Keyword: "I desire". Passionate, secretive, powerful, keenly perceptive, deep, complex, analytical, inquisitive, resourceful, evolutionary, magnetic, intense, hypnotic, perspicacious, creative, vigorous, untameable, cunning, ambitious, aggressive, tyrannical, sadistic, mysterious, transformation.
Part of body: Pelvis/reproductive organs (lol, ship it)

Well, I do not know about being all tyrannical and if I did not write so much, I probably would be pretty mysterious. I can be a little freaky but I don't know about being sadisitc(1). Other than that, I am shocked. I find myself to be a passionate, perceptive and analytical person. I am vigorous, ambitious, and anyone who has seen me play poker knows I am aggressive.

So that is what Wikipedia said, I want a second opinion. I cannot cite this source because I pulled it from a bulletin entry from a site and I cannot remember were it came from. This one is even scarier.

SCORPIO - Aggressive.Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!

I agree with that depiction almost %100. Being a analytical person, I am not quite ready to say that these Astrological signs are definite and that people do not stray away from these conceptions but I am pretty amused and shocked at some of the things I read about myself. Although, one may have the syndrome in which the reader will identify with a trait because of the broad range of personalities these signs discuss.

Regardless. I had a lot of fun writing this entry and doing the research. I would love to hear from you guys and what you think about your signs.

Also, thanks to the person who gave me the idea to write this entry. I was on a bit of a writers block where I was not producing anything that interested me for my blog.

Some Words of Wisdom...

From Mr. Matusow,

I understand I have strayed a bit from making general entries and I have been writing about poker a lot these past few days. Once again, this blog is pretty much my diary and my thoughts at the time.

Anyways, on to Mike...

Mike Matusow, probably one of the most recognized faces on televised tournament poker, was griping about the swings that come along with the game in a interview during the 2005 World Series of Poker. He did say something that interested me and I want to elaborate on it

"If there is anyone out there thinking about playing poker for a living...Don't Do It. It takes a sick, compulsive person to do this for a living."

OK, Mike. I think you might be right, to a certain extent. Playing poker professionally, or gambling in general, does take a particular personality and mindset. The swings that go along with the game can be disconcerting, stressful and tedious. There are many other aspects to the game that can determine ones success and outlook while playing professionally. It is important to understand the different ways Hold-Em is played and how playing professionally is different in each circumstance

Most of the poker broadcast on television is tournament play. These tournaments, especially some of the larger ones, have hundreds if not thousands of players entering. Regardless of the caliber of player one may be: Buying into a large tournament is effectively purchasing a very expensive lottery ticket. Of course, the good player will always have a edge and has a better chance of success than a novice but the cards will always fall the same way. One mistake can be end your tournament career. These tournaments, generally, pay out to a designated number of people depending on the number of entrants. The amount awarded always depends on the position one finishes, the buy-in for the even, and the number of players that entered. In essence, a player whom chooses to make there living playing in tournaments will see bigger swings and has to devote much more time into their occupation.

Poker is not limited to tournaments. The cash games held at the same casinos are full of bad players. These cash games allow for a player to sit down with a set amount of real money and play for stakes that range from $1/2 - $50/100 and higher. These games are usually profitable for a good player. Poker takes practice and patience and when playing cash-games, most likely, one mistake will not be detrimental to a career. These cash games allows the player to sit down and leave at there convenience.

Getting back to Matusows original comment about swings and the grueling nature of playing professionally: Poker does not have to be as grueling as Matusow makes it seem. Granted, these "live" poker players have larger swings and do not make as much money as as the good online players, in my opinion.

The reason why I think Online is superior to playing "live" is obvious.

1) Hand Per Hour:You play 40 hands per hour live, maybe. Online, Shit. At least 800 with more than one table running.

2) Table Selection: Lost of fish in the cash games and the tournaments. All the sites are different but they all have their own advantages. Regardless, if one learns proper table selection, profits sour immensely.

3) Comfort. You play how and when you want. I play best when I am comfortable; sometimes, this means I am playing in my bed on my laptop, on my desk, or at the Dynasty headquarters.

Either way, I disagree with Matusow because he play well most of the time. He makes good decision in most of the poker tournaments. Matusow suffers because his mindset make him believe that he is behind or about to lose. We are all gambling. We all Win. I think Matusow abuses his skill and does not apply it correctly.

I have met and became friends with too many online professional poker players. None of them, or myself, will ever say that poker is not emotional or swingy. It is.

How one takes the swings is all in the mindset.

Right by the Beach...

Boi....


This weekend, upon quiting my job selling and providing insurance services, I have taken the liberty of enjoying a short vacation. I wanted to relax and forget about everything that surmised to my breakdown recently. During this week of reflection and relaxation: I had plenty of time to think about my life and my poker career.

My life, in objective terms, is great. I cannot complain. I am healthy, smart and have great friends that will do anything for me. As you guys might now, I broke my main computer (a Dell Laptop) not too long ago and was forced to use a computer that did only the bare minimum. I was not able to play more the eight tables, no poker tracker, and no poker edge. I was lucky to have a glitch-free day without having to reboot in the middle of a session or not having to worry about the poker software locking up. Obviously, I was unable to play smart and patient poker on this computer. Jared staked me and I have a top-of-the-line system coming in by Wednesday.

I have slowed my drinking; although, I seemed to substitute the alcohol with other things. I will leave it at that. This has helped my life. Depression and anxiety is only amplified by drinking. Although it may seem like a escape to drink away feelings or emotions: I found that everything that is bottled up will eventually just explode like a can of soda in the freezer. I am going out and meeting new people. I am back to the same outgoing and optimistic person. I resigned my position with the massive insurance company I worked for because I was dreading every day that I was walking into the office.

That being said: I am making the move to play poker professionally. For the past two days, the money that is online is just as important to me as the money offline. I never looked at my bankroll as my means of survival. I would play poker like it was "Asteroids". My bankroll became a high score I tried to beat. I would dump quarters into the machine regardless of whether or not I have been winning.

My next posts will be dedicated strictly to my pursuit of playing professionally. I will be posting hand every day on PokerDynasty.

Even if you do not know what you are doing or what to say; please, check out the website and leave you input.

Executing

Listen to you gut and make the right decisions....

This is what I am doing now. Focusing back on my life and hopefully I can start writing again. I miss the pen and the computer but I just wanted to relax and have fun.

I picked a good time, NBA playoffs. Other than that, I really do not watch to much TV.

I also need to execute while I am in the club; but, thats another story.

Finally, my boy Brandon, started a blog. He is probably one of the best and level headed poker players I know. Please read his blog and listen to advise.
http://fearthespear-dynastypokerpro.blogspot.com

Just One Second...

For Something Spontaneous....

Whenever I think I cannot find anything or anyone in common.... It finds me and slaps me in the face.

I went from discouraged and lonely to lively and patient. I love my life. Regardless of what I am doing.

I saw JMFLAMMS post on dynasty AFTER I made my blog entry stating that "I was BACK".

Well, MOTHER FUCKERS, I am back.

Keep out my fucking way.

From now on this post is my diary, my life, my career, and my life.

Aright...

Guess Who's Back.....?


Im back. Done being stupid. Done letting one woman hold my heart and be the sole of my regrets.

I pushed away two relationships, one that needed to be pushed away and one that I probably should have given a chance, because of that one woman.

It's done. I am back to posting everyday. I quit my job and am finally pursuing playing proffesionally.

Three Things I need To Do:

1) Beat The Volcano (Stolen from Kurosh2's blog)
2) Watch my Drinking
3) Realize what I am worth.


Till Tommorow.

Holla

Anguish...

Thy Name Is Mo...

This is probably my last post for a while. Working on this blog has helped me with my game and my life in general. I love answering questions and giving my input. The visitors here are what I look forward to: So I feel I owe a explanation if I just stop posting.

My sister's 21st birthday was on April 20. Carter, from Dynasty, and myself went to the Tampa Improv with my sister and a bunch of my friends. The show, Tracy Morgan, was not that great but it was a enjoyable experience. There is just one person in the party with us that always seems to turn my life around.

There is one person that joined, a mutual friend of my sister and myself for years, that has helped me and unconditionally did anything to get me out of any of the mental and physical problems I have ever had. For two years, I neglected, disrespected and took this person for granted.

This person has been my vice. My greatness weakness since the events that caused our separation. Events that were caused by my brashness and stupidity.

So, long story short, running into the one person that you dwell on and still having a spark is a good way to throw me back into a pretty bad depression. Anyone that knows me: Knows that I probably have the worst mindset when it comes to dealing with problems or emotional issues.

Needless to say, I need to figure out how to live with the million regrets I have. Until I can cope with what I am and the mistakes I have made. When I can learn how to fix myself I can, hopefully, objectively view this situation and laugh.

People grow and change. I know that. Talking with the one person, face to face, that means more to me than almost anyone, less my family, for the first time in four months was sobering. The amount this person grew and matured since we first met was remarkable. It was hard for me not to look at this person with awe.

Anyways, instead of rambling on, I want to make my one point.

Sometimes, relationships may seem to be the root of all evil. Something that will just destroy a perfect friendship. In this case, when she left me, she showed me who I was. I know what I am capable of and I know how stubborn and ignorant I can be.

Long story short, the disintegration of my relationship with this person was completely my fault and I can readily accept that. Knowing that she does not hate me and still cares means everything in the world to me.

She is my boost when I have no confidence. She was my ride when I was broke down. She was the person that made the popcorn when we watched movies. The one who stopped me from gambling ultra-compulsively. The one girl that no one talks about negatively to me. Made food when I was hungry and listened when I was stressed.

The one person all my ex-girlfriends know and hate. Not because she was a bitch or inconsiderate. They hated her because they knew I would go running back to here in a split second.

So yea, Mo D has issues. I have been drinking almost 3/4 a bottle of vodka a day. I probably need to figure out how to stop doing that. I hate my job. I probably need to find a way to quit that.

I miss her and will always just sit her waiting for my "Rukka". (Sublime anyone?)

I will never forget her.

LOL@ MO letting some girl get to him like this for this long of a time.

Cannot Let Go...

This Tradgey is Constantly Jerking at my Heart.......


Taken from Yahoo! Photos....



Tommorow is a busy day for me.

APRIL 20 AKA 420: Known for many things. I only care about one.

I will be working on my new poker atricle/ blog regarding my game or poker, in general, through tommorow and will have a good post up by Saturday.

Inside the Killer's Mind...

The smile of a demented maniac....

Ugh, I do not want to dwell on this tonight. If you guys have not seen the Viginia Tech shooters' video manifesto, here is the link.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070418/ap_on_re_us/virginia_tech_shooting

The verbal images that Cho Seung-Hui, the man responsible for the death of over 30 students and faculty, that were released in between his two shooting rampages are disturbing to say the least.

Seung-Hi mailed these videos to NBC, whom I pray, will use them constructively and any profit they make off of this tradgey will be frowned upon. I will do anything in my will to boycott NBC if these videos to make a profit by selling full rights to the tapes to third-party companies.

Well...I am a true addict...

Awww Shit...I got a head rush.




"Shut Down The Devil's Sound......"

Been listening to a lot of different music recently. I decided that every other day or so, I will either highlight something I have reading, listening to, following up with, or been watching. I will of course continue to discuss my poker career even though I am presently taking a short break from the tables.

Rage Against The Machine has probably been one of my favorite bands since I was in late-elementary school. Coming back and listening to the same tracks 12+ years later better allows me to understand the emotion and the politically motivated lyrics of Zack De La Rocha. The band, in generally, was extremely talented and I was particular in awe of the methods used by guitar player, Tom Morello.

RATM's debut album was self-titled and was known best for "Bombtrack" and the widely played track, "Killing in the Name of".

I personally only owned their first two albums and did not listen to "The Battle of Los Angeles", the second to last album the group released prior to breaking up.



Been playing some old video games to pass the time after work. This is def. one of my favorite games ever.

Changing my ways....

But Staying The Same...
Part 3:

So over two posts now, I have opened up to my audience and shared a lot of personal insight regarding human tendencies and my own adventure through life and pokers. I have come to the realization that every human is capable of being this "rat", a controlled and contrived experiment in life. Those that can recognize their losing traits are generally more capable of building a straight road to success: Mentally, Spiritually and Socially.

Everyone goes through tribulations and rocky times: How a specific person deals with the stress of life varies. Many will just bury problems till it manifests in the form of substance abuse, many may just "close up" and abuse the body through eating disorders or other psychological abnormalities. Some may choose to analyze patterns and devise a strategy or system for overcoming rough spots or hard times. Seeking guidance through spirituality or mentoring has always been a popular method for overcoming patches of inconsistency in life.

Many become much more destructive. I leave this post here today in the wake of the tragedy in Blacksburg. Without any information on the culprit or the reasoning behind this cowardly, brutal and vicious attack: I am not ready to pass any judgment on this person.

This just brings back the nightmares of Columbine.
My thoughts and prayers are with the families and friends of the victims of this atrocity.


If you have been under a rock today: Here is the story...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070416/ap_on_re_us/virginia_tech_shooting

Please take a moment of silence for the victims of this heinous act.

Too Many Things Beat Me Here...

Oh Well......

Fuck You UB. I played $100 NL for my first time with this roll last night. Nothing too crazy happened and I won $25.00. I wish I saved a couple more hands but I just did not have a chance to.

Anyways, why could this not have happened with two full stacks at $100 NL last night?

Hand #40569698-16416 at Crosby (No Limit Hold'em)Started at 14/Apr/07 18:03:00 romncoke89 is at seat 0 with $43.79.
MrHellRaeder is at seat 1 with $13.45.
core_prit is at seat 2 with $25.65.
matgam is at seat 3 with $8.80.
dpf_core is at seat 4 with $8.75.
iamblackmo is at seat 5 with $54.67.

The button is at seat 5.

romncoke89 posts the small blind of $.10.
MrHellRaeder posts the big blind of $.25.

romncoke89: -- --
MrHellRaeder: -- --
core_prit: -- --
matgam: -- --
dpf_core: -- --
iamblackmo: Td Ad

Pre-flop:
core_prit folds. matgam raises to $1.50. dpf_core folds. iamblackmo calls. romncoke89 folds. MrHellRaeder folds.

Flop (board: Jd Qd Kd):

matgam bets $3.35. iamblackmo calls.

Turn (board: Jd Qd Kd 5d):

matgam goes all-in for $3.95.
iamblackmo: LOL
iamblackmo calls.

River (board: Jd Qd Kd 5d 8h): (no action in this round)

Showdown:
matgam shows Ac Kc.
matgam has Ac Kc Jd Qd Kd: a pair of kings.
iamblackmo shows Td Ad.
iamblackmo has Td Ad Jd Qd Kd: royal flush.
Hand #40569698-16416
Summary:
$.70 is raked from a pot of $17.95. iamblackmo wins $17.25 with royal flush

Sexy Time..Anyways, part 3 and final section is probably coming tommorow.

So.....I thought I was just "fish"....

You are now saying I am a "rat"....?
Part 2:

Well, Yes. You probably still are "fish" but I think the reason you may suck is because you are a "lab rat".

Most likely, if you are reading my blog, you are consciously striving to improving your poker game. In my personally opinion and experience, I believe those who make the effort to study on a daily basis and critically analyze their poker career are more successful and are more readily able to adapt to difficult table conditions.

Recently, I have started to consider myself a ''fish' primarily because I refuse to learn from stupid mistakes I make, I follow the same self-destructive life-path, I do not read or study as much, and I have not been watching my diet or exercising. This is because I turned into this "lab rat"

I moved out of my parents house at the age of 20. I purchased my own home and since that date I have held several jobs, been through several roommates, lived through the responsibility of paying all the bills and making sure I kept the lights and water running. I had to grow and mature. I developed new money saving skills and was able to survive with almost nothing at points.

Three years later, I have grown accustomed to the trials and tribulations that came with me moving out on my own. I am now that "lab rat" that only does what it takes to get the cheese. I no longer to devise a set budget or search for new roommates to keep all the bedrooms full so the whole brunt of the mortgage is not taken out on my wallet. I stopped exercising and eating right. My diet began to consist of Quiznos, McDonald's, Firehouse Subs, Taco Bell, and Pizza. Needless to say, feeding myself was also getting expensive.

This "lab rat" analogy can be likened to my poker career. Every time I have been able to successfully build a bankroll from nothing was ultra-motivated to take every hand seriously. Extract value and get away from as many hands as possible. I was playing Profit Poker. Then, I start to win. I like to win and I want to win more. Now, I am just moving up in stakes but, like the rat, I am not changing anything about my play but mechanical trying to take money from increasingly better players.

So now, I can keep a fairly steady bankroll but am not achieving the goals that I originally intended.

This comfort zone or the way I am mechanically living my life must change.

Thoughts on what I need to do in the continuation of this series.

Just Something To Pass The Time......

What Do You Do Here....???

I am pretty sure I have the best hand here...Villian has been opening for a lot of pots and I have played with him many times.

I used to think he was good. I think he is actuallly quite a donk.

Hand #40567851-56831 at Northumberland (No Limit Hold'em)Started at 13/Apr/07 00:44:20
iamblackmo is at seat 0 with $34.61.
BLU_ZEBRA is at seat 1 with $20.09.
WTF pkrpro is at seat 2 with $17.86.
dogintub is at seat 3 with $62.24.
core_prit is at seat 4 with $18.75.
BassMan99xxx is at seat 5 with $20.72.

The button is at seat 0.

BLU_ZEBRA posts the small blind of $.10.
WTF pkrpro posts the big blind of $.25.

iamblackmo: Qh Ks

Pre-flop:
dogintub folds.
core_prit raises to $1.
BassMan99xxx folds.
iamblackmo calls.
BLU_ZEBRA folds.
WTF pkrpro folds.

Flop (board: Qc 8h Jd):
core_prit bets $1.25.
iamblackmo calls.

Turn (board: Qc 8h Jd 8s):
core_prit checks.
iamblackmo checks.

River (board: Qc 8h Jd 8s Kd):
core_prit bets $3.
iamblackmo ???

Did we need to bet this turn? What is the action on the river here? Are there reasons for me to be pushing here or should I just raise.

Tricky with AJ...
God I Hate AJ sometimes...
MVick07 is at seat 0 with $39.45. '
nthn2fancy is at seat 1 with $87.20.
iamblackmo is at seat 2 with $65.15.
IKnockU is at seat 3 with $25.50.
comedy is at seat 4 with $49.95.
matt1time is at seat 5 with $48.25.
The button is at seat 5.

MVick07 posts the small blind of $.25.
nthn2fancy posts the big blind of $.50.

iamblackmo: Js Ah

Pre-flop:
iamblackmo raises to $1.75.
IKnockU folds.
comedy folds.
matt1time folds.
MVick07 calls.
nthn2fancy calls.

Flop (board: Jh Qc 8s):
MVick07 checks.
nthn2fancy checks.
iamblackmo checks.

Turn (board: Jh Qc 8s Ts):
MVick07 checks.
nthn2fancy checks.
iamblackmo bets $4.
MVick07 calls.
nthn2fancy folds.

River (board: Jh Qc 8s Ts Jc):
MVick07 checks.
iamblackmo bets $6.
MVick07 raises to $31.25.
iamblackmo ???


I do not think I beat anything here. The way the action went...Should I have bet this turn? River is clear folds though, right?

What Can You Do?

When You are Running Bad.....
Part 1:

Forward:

I am going to seriously continue this post over two or so days. I have some observations on life I am planning on discussing. I will include hand histories and will discuss poker throughout.


Wow, this a deep question. I approach my blog with a idea or concept that I want to address on a regular basis. Usually, the subject in question, is something that affects others and myself mutually. Of course, I like to whine, bitch, complain and rant about the problems I am having at the time.... whether in Poker or in Life.

Does running bad just effect the poker career of a particular subject? For most that read this blog and frequent the forum, this cannot be farther from the truth. The Subject, or player, does not exist in a test tube under a controlled environment. This "lab rat", overcoming simple obstacles, is fortunate to have all it's needs delivered with no negative impact from the outside. Under ideal conditions, the specimen would live without any obstacles or challenges.

In Reality, the "Rat" does not have the convenience of routinely running a maze or pushing a particular button to get the cheese. Humans, in general, have to do what it takes to survive but there are many that choose excel and succeed in the "Rat Race".

I guess my point here is: Humans do not live in this idealistic and straightforward world. The unique situations and predicaments that come along with living a independent life allow Humans to learn, adapt, and overcome any problems or obstacles through the use of intelligence and will.

A lab rat will never do more than what is required to get the cheese.

Generally as Humans are going to have the desire to achieve and expand from the current situation they are in. This could be shown by a worker going above what is expected to get a raise, a runner exerting himself to failure to shave a couple seconds of a 8k run, a poker player who desires to continual produce profitable results and move up the ranks, or even as simple as something like losing weight. This Motivational Drive that humans posses allow us to break away from this "test tube" mentality and drive towards fulfilling our desires.

On the opposite note, the human is also capable of willing themselves to resemble this proverbial "lab rat"....... the problem I think any losing player, who has the talent to win, suffers from.

Jerry!!!

JUST A LOT OF "SEINFELD"......

No. I am not broke. Still have some dolla bills. Still kinda trashed.

Couple of things:

1. I need to remember how to play poker.
2. I need to stay on this track of healthy living (minus the drinking)
3. STOP FUCKING DRINKING.

Notice the drinking. Woah. I am a alcoholic. LOL.

No one in my bloodline has had a problem with alcohol and I do not think I do either. I honestly believe I use alcohol to waste time. Essentially: To Occupy My Self.

Why do I need to occupy myself? I work 40+ hours per week. My job is stressful and requires me to exert myself, above and beyond what is expected, to move up in this corporation. I have my own house and bills to take care of, a dog that gets most of my attention and friends that I enjoy spending time with. Seems like I have enough to keep myself busy.

I started playing poker seriously because I was good at it. Notice the "Was". I believe I am still capable of playing profitable Poker but I noticed a correlation. As my workload increased: My ability to make good decisions and play smart poker diminished.

What do I need to do to fix this? I don't know yet. Should I stop playing everyday? Should I spend more time focusing on poker?

The answer is unknown: Even to me.

As for now, I will start blogging everyday again. I have a $50 home game at work coming up.
People have seen the poker books on my desk and there are a couple of people that know my skill. The 8 people that are supposed to play are FISH. I cannot wait!

Holla.